Make yourself a cuppa and get comfy as we explore healing a relationship with a loved one through sacred expression and sound
Welcome to the fifth instalment of Ancestry & Tarot – I’m so happy to have you here!
Whether you're a tarot newbie or something of a seasoned card slinger you're very welcome to pull up a chair, pop open a pack of cards and join us as we anchor into our roots in order to develop an empowered understanding of ourselves, our loved ones and those who came before.
Read on for details of today’s adventure and be sure to click on the video above to join me for a more detailed chitchat and examples of the activity ahead.
Healing a relationship with a loved one
So far along our Ancestry & Tarot journey we’ve constructed our family tree, explored family core beliefs and values, created a visual timeline of our life story so far and shared space with our inner child; bringing us into greater awareness of family dynamics, the relationship we have with ourselves and the relationships we have with our loved ones.
Today we’re going to focus on healing a relationship with a loved one. Words and sound are super powerful tools when it comes to expressing our feelings, understanding the roots of tension and releasing the hold that such tension can have over us in the present moment.
As such we’re going to be using our voice alongside the cards to help facilitate a sense of release, peace and acceptance from here.
Healing as an act of self-love
When thinking of healing we might assume that the other person involved needs to be present or at the very least aware in order for growth and renewal to occur. Yet when we view healing as an independent act of self-love, we begin to embrace the many ways in which an independent commitment to healing can have a hugely positive impact on our quality of life.
While it’s absolutely true that we can’t control the thoughts, realisations or actions of others, we can absolutely root into our own thoughts and behaviours, bringing ourselves to a place of greater understanding and acceptance without the need for another’s input or willingness to do the same.
The healing work we’re exploring today is very much an inner process of releasing ourselves from the grip of an experience or situation that has had - and perhaps is still having - a negative impact on our sense of wellbeing.
Perhaps we’ve had our confidence knocked or our sense of self dampened through the interaction we’ve had with a loved one, either now or in the past. By creating a safe sacred space in which to really express ourselves and voice whatever it is that we would like to bring to light, we can begin cultivating a sense of greater peace and personal power moving forwards.
Healing with the cards
There are many cards within the tarot that can be called to upon to assist in such a healing process. We’re going to be working with three that feel particularly pertinent: The Two of Cups, Ace of Swords and The Star.
Such a trio will act as guide cards throughout the journey ahead, representing an offering of peace, clear expression and space within which to heal and rest at your own pace (see video for a little more info on each card).
Sound as sacred expression
When you’re ready to begin, take a few deep breaths and settle into sacred space with the intention to go within and gift yourself the expression you need in order to feel as if any relationship tension is beginning to be released.
Select the Two of Cups, Ace of Swords and The Star from your tarot deck and place them in front of you. Pinpoint a moment in time you would like to return to; perhaps a specific interaction between yourself and your loved one, or a time period in which you feel there is a need to express yourself more clearly.
If the tension, disconnection or conflict resides in the present, visualise yourself facing your loved one now. By role playing the words you feel most need to be expressed you’re able to begin freeing yourself from any obstacles or blocks stemming from difficulties in feeling fully seen, heard or acknowledged.
When we speak aloud words that have weighed heavy on our heart, perhaps articulating ourselves in ways we couldn’t in the past or feel unable to in the present, a strong sense of release and lightness is often triggered by such sacred expression.
It isn’t always easy, though, to bring our words forwards and to speak them into being during such role playing. I’ve certainly found doing so to be a very vulnerable experience at times, sparking feelings of upset, anger and grief. Yet when I’ve finally found the courage to say whatever it is I need to, my heart has felt instantly far more expansive and free.
And there is something about speaking our words into being, as opposed to writing, that really helps shift and transform our energy from the inside out. Fear begins to fade, anxiety eases and our sense of confidence soars.
If you’re finding it tricky to articulate your thoughts, reassure yourself that you are safe and that there it is absolutely OK to go at your own pace. Gift yourself permission to feel whatever it is you're feeling. This is a safe space for you to acknowledge your feelings and express yourself accordingly, should you feel ready to do so.
If writing feels more appropriate at this moment in time, take pen to paper and journey into the interaction via the written word. And if you need to take a break or return at a later date, that's absolutely fine - this is your journey, and you get to call the shots. Whatever works best for you, sweet friend.
When you feel you’ve said what you wanted to say, take a moment to focus on sending love to the relationship in question. Hold your three tarot cards against your heart chakra (where you can feel your heart beating within your chest) and say “I send love to this relationship.”
Love for peace, love for understanding, love for release. Keep the three cards nearby over the next week or so and whenever you catch a glance, send love again to yourself and to your loved one in acknowledgement of the healing underway.
It’s interesting how such a practice can begin to have a tangible effect on the quality of our relationships moving forwards. When we kick-start a process of healing we begin shifting and transforming our energy, meaning we no longer send the same kind of energy into the relationship in question anymore.
Because our energy is linked to that of the other person, when one shifts the other has to shift in response; our old energy simply isn’t there to respond to!
Regardless of whether our loved one is aware of our healing intention, we’ll often find that they begin to respond accordingly. If for example you’ve struggled in the past to express yourself when interacting with a dominant parent or family member, you may find that they begin to respect your perspectives, choices and boundaries in a way they didn’t seem to before.
When we own our inner power and embrace our ability to let go of what no longer feels healthy or beneficial, shifts begin to occur as if by magic. Magic makers we are, indeed!
Healing relationships with those in spirit
The process outlined above can also be used to heal relationships with loved ones in spirit. Our family and friends who are no longer with us in a physical sense are very much still present in our lives and willing to work together from the other side.
Simply visualise your loved one with you, and know that they will respond to your energy shift from here.
If you have any questions about today’s activity or about Ancestry & Tarot (or ancestry/tarot as separate subjects!) do feel free to get in touch as I’d love to experience this journey together and to connect more deeply along the way.
See you soon for our next adventure!
With love, gratitude and so much joy,
Browse all Ancestry & Tarot posts here.
DISCLAIMER: All information, guidance and advice given throughout Ancestry & Tarot is not equivalent to, or a substitute for, professional medical advice. You are advised to consult an appropriately qualified healthcare professional should you have any concerns about the nature of the activities shared throughout this series. Your health and wellbeing are paramount, sweet friend.